It just occured to me that it’s been about a year that I’ve been blogging. I remember sitting in this same brown chair, staring out the same window at the same leafless trees, Rhys napping (as she is now), and thinking, “Man, I’m bored. Think I’ll start a blog.” Thank God for boredom….it’s this loss of motivation, this cabin fever that gets me to start reading again, contemplating my life, where it’s going, where it’s been, plan, etc. It’s a necessary pause, but one I don’t really like. I hate being bored….I am learning to enjoy silence, to enjoy being by myself, to enjoy smaller, simpler things. But I also have a difficult time motivating myself. Too often these grey days become lazy days. Perserverance and patience are two things I’ve been needing to learn, and I’ve been forced into learning it for the past three weeks while potty-training Rhys. Talk about a test of patience, a clashing of wills! I’ve been learning to go with the flow, realizing again that while I can guide and direct my daughter, I can’t control everything. Funny how a little plastic toilet has taught me loads about myself.
On another note, blogging has been GREAT fun for me. Part journal, part confessional, part photo album and never-ending holiday letter. Nearly effortless networking, too. I have met genuinely intriguing people, even made friends through the blogosphere in the past year. After lurking on a friend-of-a-friend’s blog, I was invited to read a book with the other girls (girls/ladies/women/whatever) and then to meet some of them in Iowa City last summer. After having a hard time making and keeping friends here (largely my own fault), it was refreshing (even if it was the most humid weekend of the year) to talk/listen to these intelligent, confident, lovely and varied new friends…..mothers, sisters, writers, musicians, artists, advocates.
I love to read blogs as much as I like to keep one. Reading some of them is like reading someone else’s diary…those are my favorite….let me see what’s going on inside your heart, inside your four walls. In short, blogging has been responsible for keeping some of my sanity. So, on my first blog anniversary, I thank YOU, readers and bloggers, for peeking in at my world and letting me lurk around in yours!