1. They were created to cause pain and difficulty.
2. Some how it always feels like I’m moving backwards.
3. My legs always feel like they are going to explode at the calf after 3 minutes.
4. I’m normally not getting on them of my own free will…Lindsay makes me do it
5. Champps boneless wings with wedge fries is better…this only leads to more ellipticals.
6. They make noises that sometimes sound like farts…when everybody looks up it is always the look of “yep…the fat guy let one go again.” Guilty by association. This is not right.
7. There always seems to be one guy that has shaved legs working out on them…this leads me to think about why my legs aren’t shaved and where shaving legs came from…don’t get me wrong, shaved legs are good (on my wife), but why does that guy shave his legs? Not cool.
8. They always face TVs. This isn’t bad, except that the TVs are always small which leads to squinting. Squinting leads to headaches…and you get my point. Also, you would think that all the money I am paying for a gym membership would lead to the purchase of BIG TVs. What are they doing with all that money?
9. Cleaning the machines. Why is this the job of the paying client who works out on them? It is always awkward. Also, who cleans the machines if it is busy and there are people lined up? Isn’t it easier to jump off and let the next victim worry about it? Makes sense to me. Who says that brush of chemicals with your sweat-stained towel is getting the job done anyways.
10. A little thing I like to call “potato butt.” I’m a big guy. I recognize that it is my fault that I am this big and that stress, too much work, and a horrible diet has lead to my bigness. Thus…the reason for being on an elipitical in the first place. However, who gave big people the green card on wearing “butt” tight pants. This should not be…dimples and spandex do not go together like peanut butter and jelly. You won’t catch me in tight pants, so why should other big people subject others to this? Especially on eliptical machines. These machines only highten the need for these individuals to purchase larger gear.
This is my first shot at this blog thing. Not too many deep thoughts here…I just needed to say what everybody else is thinking. You know its true. Also, remember…if Chuck Norris is running late, time better slow the heck down.