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Things I am enjoying this week while home & under the weather with the kids:
1. Neti pot. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like showing your spouse how to shove a little teapot up one nostril to get the boogers flowin’ out the other. ‘For better or worse’, right? Seriously, this thing works….no more Mucinex for us!
2. Lemon ‘tea’…a mug of hot water, the juice of half a lemon & honey to thicken. Stopped my coughing for a couple of hours.
3. Blogging…the only creative thing I can muster up this week. Have I mentioned how much I love WordPress?
4. Spending the gift cards I got for Christmas & my birthday…a good excuse to get out of the house. BY MYSELF.
5. Friends & family risking exposure & stopping by for my birthday.
6. Mineral makeup. Exercizing my girly-girlness. This stuff kicks my old makeup’s butt.
7. Noticing Reese’s smile changing & her speech becoming more articulate. Noticing Liam’s legs & cheeks getting chubbier.
8. Digging that magical hour when Michael comes home from work on a cold night & all my chicks are in the nest.
Now you can google with a conscience….my sister, Evie, turned me on to this search engine. Go to Good Search and every time you search the web, it makes a small donation to the charity of your choice. How cool is that? Charities I’ve donated to so far:
Blood : Water Mission
Mosaic Community Development
Word Made Flesh
Try it!
It’s -6 degrees outside this morning. Don’t get me started on the windchill. I’m in my robe, I’ve got my hands wrapped around my coffee mug, and the schools are closed. At least it’s sunny. I have no plans for my 28th. Gonna stay home, do no cleaning (okay, maybe I will finally clean the kitchen floor), play hard with the kids. Mom & Dad are coming over for a birthday lunch, and Michael’s bringing a birthday picnic (with cherry pie!) home tonight to have on the family room floor. Staying in tonight feels right.
This post from Amy’s blog sums up how I’ve been feeling lately….a few days of everyone in various stages of virus + lack of sleep = me feeling a little futile. Here’s a portion:
“No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.’ And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become….I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.”
“Because God sees.” Amen.
This weekend went way too fast. I think I’m a weekend warrior, so I’m pretty bummed out until 9AM most Monday mornings. However, the coffee’s on (Guatemala Antigua, one of my favorites), Reese is occupied, Liam is napping, and I can deal. This weekend was particularly short because we didn’t really get going – everyone’s in some stage of a nasty cold. I have escaped the worst so far, which makes me the designated hitter. In other words, I was the one who didn’t get a weekend! Everyone else got to watch movies, lounge, and generally get away with being cranky. So finally, at 4 AM, I got a little pouty. Okay, full disclosure – I did take an hour nap while watching “The Sands of Iwo Jima” yesterday. While everyone else was napping, of course. How I slept through all that artillery, I don’t know. Good news: American forces took the island from Japan. Bad news: John Wayne died.
Two things I did accomplish this weekend that felt good (both to me & my insanely organized husband): mountains of laundry were washed, dried & folded. AND (most important), we sorted through the kids’ clothes and mine. Made a big Goodwill pile, put some in storage to give to friends later, handed down some of my t-shirts to Reese for pj’s, put a few items away for keepsakes, and straightened up all the dresser drawers. Liam is now 13+ pounds (at 6 weeks! help!), so he’s out of his infant clothes….not to panic, though. Thanks to two friends who have boys, the sense to save some of their old clothes and the generosity to share some with me, I got tons of good-fitting and cute clothes for our little man (newly dubbed “Big Business”). He’s set til summer! I could not be more grateful. Thanks, Al & Cheryl.
Dare I take a shower? Or a power nap? Tempted to watch “The Aristocats” with Reese again…
Michael’s mom came over yesterday and offered to take Reese for the night….I’d been putting it off, this whole spending-the-night thing, for no good reason. I think I just wasn’t ready, and with Liam on the way, didn’t want my little chick far from the nest. I dunno. She ended up spending the night at my parents when Liam didn’t arrive ‘on time’, and with all the flurry I didn’t really think about it.
But yesterday I relented, packed her suitcase, and off she went to Granny’s for the night and most of the day today. It was great, actually – I got to sleep in and she had the best time. I watched Michael get Reese in the car, and as they drove away, that durn lump sprung up in my throat. Our little girl is growing up, going away from home, venturing out without us….I was surprised at how emotional I got over the whole thing. Today her room was too neat, the duplex too quiet. I missed her! But seeing the look on her ornery face was worth the growing pains – she was so proud, having a night at Granny’s all to herself. I am already afraid that the next sixteen years are going to go by lickety-split, leaving me holding the camera, hoping to catch just one more memory.
We were all set to go play at the Perrys this morning with Isaac, Linus & Ada, but the garage door is frozen shut. Michael took the other car, and so we’re stuck. Five days in the house with the kids this week. I am pouting almost as much as Reese is.
It’s snowing today- my favorite winter weather. But it’s a big week no matter where you live around the ole’ U-S-of-A:
1. Super Tuesday: go vote if you’ve got a primary.
2. Fat Tuesday: that’s Mardi Gras, folks! Lent begins tomorrow. Fish-fry season. Love those.
3. The annual Duke/North Carolina game (at Chapel Hill!) tomorrow night. Go ‘Heels!
Staying in with the kiddos today and having black bean soup & cornbread for dinner. Cozy Tuesday.
Liam turns one month old today. He gave us the best present last night – only waking up once (at 4 AM) instead of twice, as is his custom. We’ll see if this was a one-time deal or the gift that keeps on giving.
Things I love about Liam:
- His name. I hope he loves it as much as I do!
- Reese’s nickname for him: Lima. (LEE-ma) So I call him Lima Bean.
- He loves baths. Actually coos while I’m splashing water over him. So I give him one as often as possible. It’s so fun.
- He’s a good eater. Very focused when he’s not sleepy.
- Except for his mouth (he got my big frog lips), he looks just like his daddy. Now we each have a mini-me!
- He can fart & burp as well as any man. You can hear him from the next room, even over Reese. Good for laughs on those days when I am barely keeping it together.
Happy month-a-versary, Little Man!
Tonight I went out by myself for purely social reasons – the first time since Liam’s arrival. I had no guilt about leaving the kids home with Michael and going out to celebrate Ranae’s birthday. But I got out there, and suddenly, I felt lost. Maybe it was the crowded restaurant, or that I didn’t know some of the folks there, or that I’m in a constant state of exhaustion, but I felt out of my element. It was all I could do to carry on a halfway decent conversation. I savored that one glass of wine…the first I’ve had in over a year. Pinot grigio. I got shy – around my close friends! – and the fact that I was the only mother there seemed to float like a heavy cloud over me. My shirt felt lumpy, accentuated by the maternity support panel sagging around my waist. I had too much makeup on and not enough jewelry. I was sweating. I didn’t know what to talk about. There were interesting people all around me, and I couldn’t think of a good conversation starter. I was a zombie. All around me were fabulous people exuding confidence and great hair, and I couldn’t fully join in. I was out in public and yet not part of the public. I wanted to hide. Getting down to the last sip of wine was like being at the school skating party – the last song, one more earnest lap around the rink, hoping the cute kid will notice you, hoping the night ends on a high note, making it something to remember. It never happens, though. So you go home a little disappointed, ankles throbbing from the ill-fitting skates. And driving home tonight, listening to Dashboard Confessional, I realized that I’ll have to work a little harder to get my groove back.
